Helping Families Understand Extremism

And looking for ways forward

The impact of a child's involvement in far-right activities plunges families into chaos,

in which the familiar is replaced by an unknown territory, involving danger, threats and sometimes, criminality.

There are very few sign-posts leading them to where help may be available, but this increasing

What unites families in this situation is a sense of helplessness, as they struggle to support their child. For many parents, their child's involvement comes as a total shock, causing them to berate themselves unfairly for having no inkling of their child's new political allegiance.       

Other parents face the pain of watching helplessly when a child shows no wish to question or leave far-right activities. The impact may include changes to the prevailing family dynamic may be altered, according to the perceptions and allegiances of each family member. There may be divided loyalties, resentments and blame directed at some family members.                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Keeping communication open between the child and their parents is vital to avoid fractured and irreparable damage to relationships. An angry young person will not engage with a hostile parent. Avoid demonizing the child by reminding them that they are loved unconditionally.                                                                                               

Separate who they are from what they believe; put aside one's distaste for the ideology and invite the child/ypung person to talk about why they joined the organization and,what it gave them when they first joined.

Extremist groups can prey on the vulnerable who may have issues relating to their identity, masculinity and a sense of alienation.It will be painful for the parents to hear it, although important for the child's awareness self-awareness and extrication from far-right politics.                                                                                                                                                    

Whilst some families prefer to deal with major issues from within, others seek support and empathy from external sources, such as churches, counselling and one-to-one mentoring. Those wishing to organize their own self-help group, can access material from similar groups, such as Alcoholic Anonymous' Families groups, who use a format based on mutual support trust, solidarity and empathy which, over time, create  strong bonds amongst its members.                                                                                                                                          

An example of a well-regarded support group took place on an oncology ward in a children's hospital, where weekly, drop-in afternoon teas, run by counsellors and volunteers, created a safe space in which parents could share their experience with other parents on the ward, some of whom they may not have met previously. It also gave them much-needed time away from the confines and solitude of their room.                                                                                                                 

Schools play a vital role in evaluating and changing attitudes, as can be gauged from the number of programmes highlighting school projects on the subject of changing racist behaviour.

The  BBC's critically-acclaimed programme,The School That Tried To End Racism, filmed a project in which a class of teenagers were asked to form two groups on the basis their skin colour: White and Other Ethnicities. Initially, the groups met separately; the 'White' group explored their privileges and how racism impacts on their peers in the other group. The Other Ethnicities group shared how their experience made them feel about themselves.Later both groups met and shared the insights gained from being in their respective groups and suggested strategies that the school could adopt to address racism.                                                                                                                        

Drama therapy in particular, is a powerful tool in which participants enact a real-life conflict experienced by a member of the group who,with the help of the facilitator, directs the scenario.

Playing a given role enables participants to 'get inside' the mind-set of their character and create scenarios which could be result in a resolution of an intractable situation.

Looking at the issue of extremism, it's impact, reactions to it and where we go from here, is difficult, but we have to plough that path and today, we have Exit Hate leading the way.

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Laura - Exit Hate Volunteer