Welcome To Exit Family Support
You Are Not Alone
We understand what you're going through,
because we have had a loved one involved ourselves
No Judgement - Just Support
If you have a loved one involved in extremism and don't know what to do, don't worry you are not alone.
Providing non-judgmental support, Exit Hate Trust have a dedicated family support team and we want to help you keep your loved one safe and away from danger.
Offering confidential advice from people who understand, we don't judge, because we are family members who have had a loved one involved ourselves and former members of the far-right who have turned our lives around and left.
Working together we are here for you and want to support you to understand why someone can become involved in extremism and how to have conversations that don't end up in arguments, so you can help the person you love, see alternatives to extremism and how family life is everything.
About Us
Exit Family Support is a dedicated programme of Exit Hate Trust and we are here to help people who think their loved one might be involved with an extremist group.
We are family members who have had a loved one involved ourselves and former far-right activists who’ve rejected our past and now use our lived experiences to help others.
As we have been through this ourselves, we know what you’re going through and we can help. Alongside our family members and formers who have a lived experience of the impact of extremism, we also have a growing number of professionals who engage with people involved, so we understand, sympathise and never judge.
Because most of us have been through what you are experiencing, we know how lonely and worried you can feel and that's why Exit Family Support exists and we have been supporting families since 2017.
Not the police, there is no risk in contacting us. Everything you say is in confidence and just between us.
We provide support, advice & reassurance tailored to your family’s needs, so your loved one can get back to a normal life.
We’ll work with you to find solutions, explain things along the way and be with you every step of the way if you want.
Part of Exit Hate Trust a registered charity (1197666), we are here for you.
Need help?
Please complete this Support Request Form. Just click on the highlighted text and submit.
Email - info@exithate.org
Phone - 0800 999 1945
Know The Signs
It can be worrying when you notice your loved one’s behaviour changing. It can be a difficult time and many parents want to know how to tell if their loved one has become involved with far-right extremism. The truth is there’s no easy answer.
Lots of teenagers push the boundaries as a normal part of growing up, but it doesn’t mean they are being radicalised. The key is to look at the whole picture to see if there’s any real cause for concern.
To help, here are some signs people involved with the extreme right-wing may show.
ATTITUDE
Change in mood. They may be more argumentative or aggressive.
Have a sudden increase in intolerance of other people’s views.
Give ‘scripted’ answers if you question their views.
Feel they are a victim of injustice or blame others for their problems.
BEHAVIOUR
Secretive behaviour – Seeking to hide what they are doing, things to look out for might be for example hiding what they are looking at online, either on their phone or their laptop.
Changes in routine, travel, friends or interests. Connecting with people, no-one knows,
Idolising historical extremists for example i.e., Adolf Hitler, Oswald Mosley or both.
Supporting populist figures of today, i.e., Tommy Robinson or Andrew Tate.
APPEARANCE
Change in appearance – This could include people wearing different types of clothes or having new tattoos with symbols that you have never seen before.
Their clothing may become plainer to hide their views, so they don't stick out or it could change where people start to have logos on what they wear and you have never seen them before. All of this could be a sign they are supportive of an extremist group.
People could start collecting far-right extremist literature and have it in their bedroom or home, including books like Mein Kampf, Siege and The Turner Diaries. They could also have items like flags, leaflets or posters on display. They may be trying to show their identity, or hide it, this all depends on the group people support.
if you are worried, talk to someone.
Reach out to ACT Early or if you prefer, contact Exit Family Support at: info@exithate.org and we will get back in touch with you as soon as we can.
The Dangers
Without support, your loved one could be manipulated into an act that puts their lives or the lives of others at risk.
Far-right or extreme right-wing groups are powerful and very manipulative.
Young people can be vulnerable to their messages as they struggle to find their identity.
If your loved one has been drawn in by extremists, the fact is that they are at risk.
The extreme right-wing includes radical and violent nationalist and supremacist groups. They can even have links to Satanist and neo-Nazi cults who see people as nothing more than pawns to promote their hate and it's critical we keep as many people away from this lifestyle as possible, because nothing positive will come of it.
Some of these groups are even banned by the UK government, which means that even being a member is a crime and could result in a lengthy prison sentence and therefore getting people out is the best thing we can do for them and yourself , to protect them and others from harm.
Their involvement could land them in prison, threatening their safety and limiting their prospect of living a normal life in the future, including getting a job. Your concern could help them and they will thank you for it later.
Extremist groups brainwash people and can push them to perform acts of violence, even though people may not want to, because they are scared.
Your loved one's exposure to these ideas and acts risks grave physical and psychological harm to people involved and this we call involvement trauma which people can suffer from for many years and this is why we are here to help families like you get your loved ones away from extremist influence and help them rebuild their lives away from danger.
Inside
Stories
Wanting to highlight real Inside Stories, we have created a number of films which show how we have supported families to help loved ones leave the far-right and rebuild their lives. Their stories have been adapted and told by actors to protect the identity of the people we work with.
If you would like to share your story with us, please get in contact with our team, because the more people who know what life is like having a loved one involved, the more people will reach out for support. This can be via a blog article or podcast, so your identity is protected. Interested? Email: info@exithate.org
Emma's Story
Emma never had any trouble with her two kids when they were growing up until her son Pete became interested in the far-right.
This film tells the story of her ordeal from finding out about Pete’s involvement, through to making contact with us and how we were able to help her get her son back.
Gavin's Story
Gavin was alarmed to find his son posting fascist videos online. But when he challenged him about it, his son wouldn’t listen.
With expert guidance from Exit Family Support, Gavin tried a different approach.
Slowly, he helped his son turn away from extremism, enrol at college and get his future back.
A Mother's
Journey
Here you can listen to the two stories of Sarah & and Nicola, both of whom had sons involved in extremism.
Highlighting how no family is safe from extremism, let's make sure no one is alone and support is always available.
With Your Help ...........
HOW TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITHOUT ENDING UP IN AN ARGUMENT
The main thing is to avoid arguing and telling them they’re wrong – it could push your loved one further away.
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Try not to use words like ‘extremist’, ‘racist’, 'nazi', ‘groomed’ or ‘radicalised’, which could make them feel attacked.
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Talk in a relaxed atmosphere for example at home over a cup of tea.
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Pick a time that’s good for both of you, try to avoid interruptions and turn off your phone.
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Tell your loved one you genuinely want to hear what they think – not just what the media says. Explain you know there are things wrong in society and want to know how they think they can make things better. This will open the door to difficult, but honest conversations.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM CONVERSATIONS
Far-right groups are experts at manipulation. You may be shocked to find your loved one now holds beliefs that you find horrific and just not true.
Avoid telling them they are wrong or dismissing their views as extremist propaganda – after all, who likes to be told what they should and shouldn’t believe?
MY LOVED ONE WON’T TALK TO ME
Sometimes with the best will in the world, it’s hard to even get a conversation started. If you are in this situation, please get in touch. We can suggest icebreakers to encourage your loved ones to open up and have conversations to find out why people are angry and why they think being involved in extremism, will help things become better.
WHEN CONVERSATIONS DON’T GO TO PLAN
Being honest this is real life and sometimes your conversations won’t always go the way you want.
If arguments start, the smart move is to take a break. Suggest making a cup of tea or walking the dog – or tell them you have a chore you must do, like going to the shops. This will give you the space you both need.
Once the heat is out of the conversation, ask if you can continue another time. This will leave the door open to talk again and this is very important.
Above all, try not to feel disheartened. It’s a long road, but helping your child is possible and we are here to help you using our lived experience.
People Can Change........
How We Can Help
REAL HELP FROM PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN THERE
Understanding how alone people can feel when a loved one is part of a far-right organisation, we want to help and support families, every step of the way.
Working across the UK we support families to help their children leave extremism behind and rebuild their lives through our dedicated support programme which includes 121 support and an online family support group.
DEDICATED ONE-TO-ONE MENTORING
Offering expert guidance from a designated mentor we offer help when you need it.
We provide practical and emotional support to suit your needs including how to have difficult conversations and challenge extremist beliefs.
Promoting general safeguarding we can offer advice and support including help from a dedicated mentor in a series of 121 mentoring sessions, where we create a wellbeing plan that will support your family and your loved one who is involved.
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT
Following our mentoring support, all families are offered the opportunity to join our KIT programme, where we keep in touch with you for 12 months, reaching out 3 times in the year - April, August and December.
After this, we cease support so you can get on with your life, but the door is always open if you need support.
If this is something you are interested in, please speak to your mentor who will arrange this.
Where needed we may connect you to supplementary organisations that can help with any additional needs or requirements.
Need
Support?
OK, now you know who we are, what we do and why we do it, can we help you?
If you need a chat, you can call us, email us or we can have a chat via Teams or Zoom.
You are not alone and we are here to help you.
We offer non-judgemental help and support from a lived experience perspective.
We believe in looking at people as individuals, not extremists and understand that many of those who get involved in extremism are victims, not monsters and seek to empower families and friends to be part of the solution, so we can get people back into society and away from extremist influence.
While not easy, wiith your help it can be done.
Talk to us today and let us help you on your journey.
Need help?
Please complete this Support Request Form
- Just click on the highlighted text and submit.
Email - info@exithate.org Phone - 0800 999 1945