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Welcome To Exit Family Support
You Are Not Alone
We understand what you're going through,
because we have had a loved one involved ourselves
We Offer No Judgement - Just Support
​If you have a loved one involved in extremism and don't know what to do, don't worry you are not alone.
Providing non-judgmental support, Exit Hate has a dedicated online family support programme, and we want to help you keep your loved one safe and away from danger.
Offering confidential support, people once registered as a site member can access our online support programme, so families can access this information at any time of the day.
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Providing guidance via our online support programme and dedicated Facebook support page, you can work through things at your own pace, and if you have a question, you can email us, and we will respond to you within 24-48 hours - Monday to Thursday.
NOT an emergency service, our support is different, coming from a place of lived experience.
If you need a chat or have a question, please email us at info@exithate.org,​ and we will respond as soon as we can.
About Us
Exit Family Support is a dedicated programme of Exit Hate, and we are here to help people who think their loved one might be involved in or supportive of far-right extremism.
We’ll work with you to find solutions, explain things along the way and can be contacted every step of the way on your journey by email at: info@exithate.org​
Need help? Here are your options -
If you want support and would like a chat with someone in confidence, we would always recommend that you reach out to ACT Early, who can offer confidential advice and support.
Offering telephone support 24 hours a day, you can call them on 0800 011 3764 and get the support you need. For more information, please visit https://actearly.uk​
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Signs To Be Aware Of.............
It can be worrying when you notice your loved one’s behaviour changing.
Lots of teenagers push the boundaries as a normal part of growing up, but it doesn’t mean they are being radicalised. The key is to look at the whole picture to see if there’s any real cause for concern.
To help, here are some signs people involved with the far-right may show.
ATTITUDE
​Change in mood. They may be more argumentative or aggressive.
Have a sudden increase in intolerance of other people’s views.
Give ‘scripted’ answers if you question their views.
Feel they are a victim of injustice or blame others for their problems.
​BEHAVIOUR
​Secretive behaviour – Seeking to hide what they are doing, things to look out for might be, for example, hiding what they are looking at online, either on their phone or their laptop.
Changes in routine, travel, friends or interests. Connecting with people no one knows,
Idolising historical extremists, for example, i.e., Adolf Hitler, Oswald Mosley or both.
Supporting populist figures of today, i.e., Tommy Robinson or Andrew Tate.
​APPEARANCE
​Change in appearance – This could include people wearing different types of clothes or having new tattoos with symbols that you have never seen before.
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Their clothing may become plainer to hide their views, so they don't stick out or it could change where people start to have logos on what they wear, and you have never seen them before. All of this could be a sign that they are supportive of an extremist group.
People could start collecting far-right extremist literature and have it in their bedroom or home, including books like Mein Kampf, Siege and The Turner Diaries. They could also have items like flags, leaflets or posters on display. They may be trying to show their identity, or hide it; this all depends on the group people support.
The Dangers
Without support, your loved one could be manipulated into an act that puts their lives or the lives of others at risk.
Far-right groups are very manipulative.
Young people can be vulnerable to their messages as they struggle to find their identity.
If your loved one has been drawn in by extremists, the fact is that they are at risk.
The far-right includes radical and violent nationalist and supremacist groups. They can even have links to Satanist and neo-Nazi cults who see people as nothing more than pawns to promote their hate and it's critical we keep as many people away from this lifestyle as possible, because nothing positive will come of it.
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Some of these groups are even banned by the UK government, which means that even being a member is a crime and could result in a lengthy prison sentence and therefore getting people out is the best thing we can do for them and yourself , to protect them and others from harm.
Their involvement could land them in prison, threatening their safety and limiting their prospect of living a normal life in the future, including getting a job. Your concern could help them and they will thank you for it later.
Extremist groups brainwash people and can push them to perform acts of violence, even though people may not want to, because they are scared.
Your loved one's exposure to these ideas and acts risks grave physical and psychological harm to people involved and this we call involvement trauma, which people can suffer from for many years and this is why we are here to help families like you get your loved ones away from extremist influence and help them rebuild their lives away from danger.
Voices of recovery
​Wanting to highlight real voices of recovery, we have created several films which show how we have supported families to help loved ones leave the far-right and rebuild their lives. Their stories have been adapted and told by actors to protect the identity of the people we work with.
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If you would like to share your story with us, please get in contact with our team, because the more people who know what life is like having a loved one involved, the more people will reach out for support. This can be via a blog article or podcast, whatever you like, and your identity will be protected. Interested? Please email: info@exithate.org
Emma's Story
Emma never had any trouble with her two kids when they were growing up until her son Pete became interested in the far-right.
​This film tells the story of her ordeal from finding out about Pete’s involvement, through to making contact with us and how we were able to help her get her son back.
Gavin's Story
​Gavin was alarmed to find his son posting fascist videos online. But when he challenged him about it, his son wouldn’t listen.
With expert guidance from Exit Family Support, Gavin tried a different approach.
Slowly, he helped his son turn away from extremism, enrol at college and get his future back.
With Your Help ...........
HOW TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITHOUT ENDING UP IN AN ARGUMENT
The main thing is to avoid arguing and telling them they’re wrong – it could push your loved one further away.
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Try not to use words like ‘extremist’, ‘racist’, 'nazi', ‘groomed’ or ‘radicalised’, which could make them feel attacked.
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Talk in a relaxed atmosphere for example at home over a cup of tea.
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Pick a time that’s good for both of you, try to avoid interruptions and turn off your phone.
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Tell your loved one you genuinely want to hear what they think – not just what the media says. Explain you know there are things wrong in society and want to know how they think they can make things better. This will open the door to difficult, but honest conversations.
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WHAT TO EXPECT FROM CONVERSATIONS
Far-right groups are experts at manipulation. You may be shocked to find your loved one now holds beliefs that you find horrific and just not true.
Avoid telling them they are wrong or dismissing their views as extremist propaganda – after all, who likes to be told what they should and shouldn’t believe?
MY LOVED ONE WON’T TALK TO ME
Sometimes with the best will in the world, it’s hard to even get a conversation started. If you are in this situation, please get in touch. We can suggest icebreakers to encourage your loved ones to open up and have conversations to find out why people are angry and why they think being involved in extremism, will help things become better.
​WHEN CONVERSATIONS DON’T GO TO PLAN
Being honest this is real life and sometimes your conversations won’t always go the way you want.
If arguments start, the smart move is to take a break. Suggest making a cup of tea or walking the dog – or tell them you have a chore you must do, like going to the shops. This will give you the space you both need.
Once the heat is out of the conversation, ask if you can continue another time. This will leave the door open to talk again and this is very important.
Above all, try not to feel disheartened. It’s a long road, but helping your child is possible and we are here to help you using our lived experience.
People Can Change........
Families Matter
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Families are crucial to reducing and challenging extremism in a non-confrontational way.
In this video, we have two very special moms, Sarah and Nicola, talking about what it is like to have a son involved.​
Need More In-depth Support?
If you would like to get a better understanding and more in-depth advice, then please sign up for our online support programme. Just click on the Online Support Programme button below, and it will take you directly to the first module. Here you will need to register as a site member, and then you can work your way through the programme at your pace.
To help you understand more about the programme, please watch the video below, and if you want to join the programme, please click on the link below the video.
If you have a question, please email us at: info@exithate.org ​​
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You can also follow our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/exithatetrust/
Here you can find lots of links to additional support links​​
Publication Downloads
To help people, we also have also produced
a number of free publications that you can download.
Simply click on the picture to download.
Exit Family Support main handbook detailing what ERW extremism is and ways to engage with someone supportive of it
Booklet aimed at families looking to rebuild the divide between themselves and a loved one involved in extremism.
Booklet aimed at parents suffering because they have a loved one involved in extremism and having relationship difficulties.
Booklet highlighting what Prevent and Channel is all about
Family Support Video Library
Supporting families to understand extremism and professionals who support them,
we have various educational videos like these here.
To view these and many more videos, please visit:
Are you a professional looking for help?
​We would always advise that you speak to your local Prevent team. Simply search Prevent and then your city, town or area and make contact as soon as you can for expert advice. Please also have a look at - www.actearly.uk
Interested in some advice now? Watch this video.