Filling The Void..............Nature Is Enough

After reading the first article about filling the void and Paganism, this got me thinking about my own journey.

I’m a former far-right activist. I have been a Nationalist, Eco Fascist and an Odinist.

I know that my story is not unique, there are sadly thousands of others out there who have walked away from extremism, and I welcome this, but I also wonder?

How have people like me filled that void?

As a nationalist, I spent a lot of time attending demos, achieving nothing, which made me frustrated, so I looked for something else.  After looking at various paths I could embrace, I found Eco Fascism, which strangely ticked all my boxes at the time, I loved nature, and I believed the white race was under attack. But I was wrong.

As an Eco fascist, I loved walking, feeling a bond to the earth, nature and I believed it was all connected to my fight for my people, and my land.

But I felt something was missing and embraced Odinism as my religion.

For those that don’t know, Odinism is a warped, racist version of an inclusive faith called Heathenry, which is based on the Old Norse Gods.

Living this life, I felt complete, but the more I read, the more questions I had.

Not just about Extreme Right Wing narratives around immigration, the holocaust etc, but I also had questions like - Did I have to be in the far right to love nature and Is Odinism, genuine or has it been constructed to be used as a way that actually used the Old Norse Gods as a mask for racist opinions and activities?

People can change

Finally, I came to my senses, and I saw the life I had for what it was, shallow, ineffective, based on hate, and ultimately harming things, I really cared about.

Seeing this, over a 6-month period, with support I walked away from supporting the ERW (Extreme Right Wing) and decided I wanted nothing to do with the far right anymore and instead wanted to do things which were positive, and today I focus my energies on supporting the planet, animal welfare and helping Exit Hate where I can.

For me, nature Is enough.

I love walking, in a park, a wood or just getting outside (I live in a flat, in the city) and enjoying nature in all its glory. I help pick up litter locally, am involved in a couple of animal welfare groups and this helps me fill my void doing something worthwhile, not living in a world based on hate, fear and loathing.

I no longer yearn for the excitement (and terror) of marches, which often resulted in a number of different options including abuse, fighting or boredom, depending on where you went.

Far from doing the things I thought I was doing, I was harming others, myself and the people around me I loved. From mine and others who have been involved, I learnt the hard way, the far-right don’t protect the family, they destroy it, tearing families apart, because of what you end up saying and doing.

Thankfully I know now, I was wrong and I understand I must own what I said and did and despite deleting all my old apps, I worry, that my past will come back and damage the life I have now built for myself. But If this happens, I will be honest and own what I said and did, because honesty is crucial to having the difficult conversations we need to have, to move forward away from hate and extremism.

Today I embrace nature as my focus, I go out, look at what is in front of me and no longer have to worry about putting stickers up, spreading the word and if I am honest, hate others because the old me had a warped vision of the world, where I believed that people who had a different ethnicity, religion or Identity to me, didn’t belong and couldn’t feel what I felt.

Understanding now how ridiculous this view is, when I was involved, I just could not see this, because I was in a bubble of hate and the propaganda being fed me fed me lies, misinformation and disinformation, reinforcing opinions that were built on genuine concerns, but warped my thinking and my actions.

Embarrassed and ashamed of the views I once held, I have now rejected my former beliefs and now know that nature can unite us, bringing together people who care (not hate), and today I see people as people, not labels to fear or loathe.

Today, my feelings of hate, anger and frustration are gone. I have changed, and so have many others.

If you have a story to share about how you walked away from extremism and are filling the void, then why not share it? It might just help someone else see, there is a better life away from hate.

My small contribution here is just one of many stories, that need to be heard and part of a much larger conversation I believe needs to be had about how people walk away from extremism and how we fill the void.

What’s your story? Email it, just like I did to: info@exithate.org

Karl – Former.