Rape & Sexual Abuse – Some Information We Need To Know
- Exit Hate Guest Writer
- 5 days ago
- 7 min read
Photo used is from Unsplash to represent someone in distress.
Introduction and note to reader
This article discusses themes of rape and sexual abuse. If reading about this feels difficult right now, you can scroll to the bottom where we’ve included support options. We know that sexual violence takes many forms and whatever happened to you, whenever it was and whatever the circumstance, you deserve support.
It’s not surprising that many people are feeling uncertain, scared and angry in what seems like a very volatile world. Both globally and locally, issues of violence, division and justice seem too big to tackle. With this backdrop, the issue of women and children’s safety has come first and foremost in the media and British politics and has brought up a lot of challenging and sometimes confusing narratives. Before we go into that though, let’s understand the scale.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 18 men have experience rape or sexual violence since the age of 16. That means a quarter of the women and an eighteenth of the men in your family, your colleagues, your peers and friends, have experienced huge trauma. And with over 71,000 rapes were reported to the police in 2024, it’s understandable why people are looking for safety and a way to make tangible change. The government has made violence against women and girls (VAWG) a national priority - a sign that this issue is massive and needs some real attention to tackle.
Although the spotlight on challenging sexual violence is very much needed, this comes with a surge in the right and their ‘pro-family stance’. A stance that initially says the ERW (extreme right wing) care about the safety of women and children and want to protect many from violence. On the surface, this can feel reassuring. When you are feeling afraid or under attack, I can understand why the promise of a ‘pro-family’ stance which protects women and children feels like safety for some.
However, this promise is not always what it seems. In some cases, people drawn in by these messages and are hoping for protection, belonging, or change, have instead experienced harm and exploitation from within these movements and the very people who promised to protect them. This is a deeply painful and confusing betrayal. The exploitation of people’s fear, uncertainty and need for protection is nothing short of despicable.
Some of the tactics used to draw people into these movements can mirror patterns seen in sexual abuse and exploitation. These tactics are used by perpetrators control and manipulate people can include things like: initial community building and making a new place of belonging but this later then changes your identity, isolation from friends and family, forming new relationships that reinforce control, promises that are later broken, gradual shifting of boundaries, use of shame, guilt, or obligation, use of hierarchy, or ‘rewarding’ you for things that can lead to increasingly harmful or unsafe situations, expectations of secrecy or silence, coercion, or blackmail and online/image based abuse. The list could go on and on, as every experience of exploitation is different, yet the tactics used by the extreme right wing and sexual violence perpetrators are very much the same.
It's not okay that women’s safety is brought up only to further political agendas. The safety of women and children has and always will be important and it's definitely not okay that you may have experienced violence whilst trying to find safety from it. We all want a world free of sexual violence but where do we start? Especially if your algorithm keeps pushing false narratives of who perpetrators and victims are and fails to looks at the wider picture, we can end up causing more harm than help, let alone encounter the very real threat of experiencing sexual violence within the far right movement itself.
So, we start with real data. Check trustworthy sources of information like the Office for National Statistics, Rape Crisisand the NSPCC. These sources can show us that the majority of survivors knew the perpetrator(s) and the most common perpetrators are not strangers but are partners, ex- partners, friends, fathers, stepfathers and other family members. This is scary but knowledge is power.
When we scratch the surface, we can begin to engage with the fact that sexual violence isn’t just a one-off incident that went a bit too far. Instead, we see that it is a set of attitudes and beliefs that allow perpetrators to feel entitled and decide that their needs and control are more important than someone else’s autonomy. Those same attitudes shame and guilt survivors into keeping silent, making it harder to escape and to seek support.
When we engage with the reality of this, we can recognise that yes, this is a huge problem and it has been a longstanding one. We can begin to see things as a whole and make real meaningful change by dismantling societal structures and beliefs that embolden perpetrators, victimise vulnerable people, women and children and in turn this can encourage survivors to get the support they deserve. This could look like prioritising prevention work that works alongside young people and communities to educate on building meaningful and healthy relationships, challenge negative and violent attitudes and work with parents, carers and young people to highlight online safety. It could also include lobbying the government for reforms to the criminal justice system, and prioritising money for specialist sexual violence support services which offer free, holistic support for survivors.
Not shying away from difficult subjects, the far-right, will often talk about Muslim grooming gangs, with over 50 locations highlighted. Understanding how this is used by extremists is crucial in combating extremism, because while many in the far right, will use these facts to stigmatise the Muslim community, we must be brave and highlight that these actions are those of individuals and small groups of individuals, not whole communities.
So, what about survivors who have experienced sexual exploitation and abuse whilst they were radicalised? Survivors who have often already lost their family and friendship networks and were hurt by the new network they do have? One thing is clear, whatever you believed or did, there is no scenario where sexual violence could ever have been a reasonable and fair response. What happened to you is not your fault and your beliefs don’t stop the fact that you deserve to be safe and free from abuse. You deserve support for all the different violence you have experienced, whether its is the violence of sexual harassment and abuse, or the violence of radicalisation.
There is specialist support out there to help. Whether you want some emotional support or whether you need practical help now, below are some options that you can explore. We believe that rebuilding your life after the impacts of radicalisation and sexual abuse is possible. Both radicalisation and abuse can take away your sense of self, but you deserve to rebuild trust in yourself and make your own choices again. We know that hoping for change sometimes feels really difficult and that you will have good and bad days- that's okay. Change isn't linear, and hopefully, with the right support, you can feel a bit more like you again.
Support signposts
If this happened recently
SARC - Sexual Assault Referral Centres are specific services run by specialist doctors and nurses that can support you if you have experienced sexual violence in the last 7 - 10 days. They can give you medical support such as checking for any injuries and immediate medical healthcare needs, help arrange related follow up health appointments and signpost you to other forms of support. They can also, with your consent, carry out a forensic medical examination. A forensic medical examination can collect forensic evidence if you decide you might want to report what happened to you to the police. They can often store this evidence in a freezer for a limited time whilst you decide.
Find your local SARC: https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health-services/find-a-rape-and-sexual-assault-referral-centre/
Emotional support
Helplines
There are a number of specialist sexual violence support helplines available. A lot of these are often anonymous and confidential, so you can decide how much or how little you would like to share. You can access helplines whether the abuse you experienced was recent or historic.
It's okay if you don't know what to do or what you want to happen. For some people an anonymous helpline might feel like a safer first step to support.
24/7 national sexual abuse support helpline
0808 500 2222
Rape Crisis regional helplines
Survivors Trust Helpline
08088 010 818
Young people
Childline 08001111
Other specialist helplines
Survivors UK https://www.survivorsuk.org/
National stalking helpline https://www.suzylamplugh.org/ 0808 802 0300
Revenge porn helpline: https://www.revengepornhelpline.org.uk/
Papyrus prevention of young suicide https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Counselling and Therapy
You may want to access some form of counselling to help you manage with the impacts of the trauma you have experienced. Its very common for survivors of sexual violence to experience mental health struggles. This is a normal response to experiencing a traumatic event. There are many ways we react to experiencing trauma and there is no ‘right response’. However you do deserve support to begin to make sense of what happened and to begin building the life you want to lead.
Specialist counselling services
Rape Crisis Centres, Survivors Trust member centres, and other local specialists.
NHS
There are also pathways for mental health support with the NHS. You may want to talk to your GP about what mental health support is available through the NHS
Self help tools
If you're not quite ready for therapy you may want to explore some self help tools that discuss common issues that survivors may struggle with and some suggestions for support.
You could also access private therapy, though we understand that not everyone has the funds to access this. The options above are all free to access.
Advocacy and criminal justice
For some people reporting what happened to them is an important step, for others this is not something they want. Either way, what is important is your choice. If you do decide to report here are some options for support
Independent Sexual Violence Advocates (ISVAs)
ISVAs are people who can support anyone thinking about or who already has reported sexual violence to the police. They can help by giving you information you need about the criminal justice process to help you make decisions that feel right for you and advocate on your behalf.
There are many organisations that have ISVAs and that might look different in your local area. Organisations that commonly have ISVAs are places like:
Rape Crisis CentresSurvivors Trust member centresVictim Support, and other specialised sexual violence centres too.
Domestic violence charities may have ISVAs alongside IDVAs who do similar work but based primarily supporting reports of domestic violence.
This article was written by Selina, an Exit Hate volunteer.
