Questions Matter........

When a child, or any loved one, becomes involved with the Extreme Right Wing (ERW), the situation is incredibly challenging.

Often, the difficulties begin with the erosion of your relationship, which precedes the open conflicts about your differing views and the moment you recognise their extremist involvement.

If you suspect your loved one is involved in extremism, UK government and safeguarding advice recommends focusing on open-ended and non-judgmental questions. The primary objective is to establish a connection and understand their emotions. Avoid direct challenges to their beliefs, as this is likely to result in them becoming defensive or withdrawing.

In total agreement with this, let’s have a look at what we could ask.

Conversational & Exploratory Questions

Instead of using "yes/no" or leading questions (for example, "Did you hear this at home?"), utilise the "TED" method to encourage open discussion: Tell, Explain, Describe.

●      "How do you feel about [specific event/issue]?"

●      "What do you understand by [specific term or idea]?"

●      "Where did you hear or see that information?"

●      "What made you start thinking about these things?"

●      "Can you explain that further? I want to understand your point of view."

●      "Is there another point of view on that issue that you’ve heard?"

Understanding Their Online World

Given that a lot of radicalisation happens online, try to explore their digital interactions with a curious approach:

Here are some alternative questions to ask:

●      Can you share with me the online people who you think have the most insightful or engaging things to say?

●      What is your process for choosing who you connect with and accept as friends online?

●      Have you recently come across anything that caused you to feel uneasy, upset, or worried?

●      Would you mind showing me some of the websites or games that you enjoy spending time on?

Observational & Emotional Check-ins

Focus on addressing any concerning behaviour you observe, rather than debating the extremist ideology.

Here are some questions you could ask a young person if you suspect they might be involved in extremism:

●      "I've noticed you seem more [angry/agitated/distanced] lately. What's been on your mind?"

●      "You look exhausted. What are you doing to relax or take a break?"

●      "If someone said something that made you feel like you were in a difficult situation, what would be your first step?"

Engaging with individuals who are involved.

When addressing a young person you suspect of involvement in extremism, approach the conversation by aiming to understand their influences, beliefs, and online activities rather than making accusations.

Important questions should centre on new friendships, intense engagement online, and any shifts in behaviour. These inquiries are designed to determine if the child is being isolated or encouraged to adopt polarized "us versus them" thinking.

Direct and Open Questions to Ask

●      "I've noticed you're spending a lot of time on [site/app] lately. What kind of things are you looking at or who are you talking to?"

●      "You seem really angry about [specific event/issue]—what is it that you think is unfair?"

●      "I noticed you’ve stopped talking to [Friend's Name]. Have you made new friends recently?"

●      "Where did you hear that opinion? It sounds like something from a video or a script."

●      "Do you feel like your friends or people online are encouraging you to dislike a certain group of people?"

●      "Are you feeling pressured to act or think differently than you used to?"

●      "What are your views on the things happening in the news recently?

Guidance for the Conversation

It is vital to establish a calm and safe setting, as this is key to helping the person feel secure enough to open up to you.

●      Create a Safe Space: Choose a quiet place where they feel at ease and you won't be interrupted or overheard.

●      Show patience - Ensure there are no time restraints.

●      Listen Without Interrupting: Let them speak fully to understand their "why"—whether it’s a desire for belonging, status, or a sense of grievance.

●      Focus on the "Why": Often, involvement is driven by a need for identity or purpose rather than the ideology itself.

●      Do Not Promise Confidentiality: If you are a professional or have serious concerns, you must follow standard safeguarding procedures.

When speaking to a young person, your main objective is to gather comprehensive information about their thoughts, feelings, and the depth of their involvement. This critical information can then be shared with relevant support services. Collecting these details is essential for ensuring they receive the most appropriate support and can be helped to come away from danger.

If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm: Please call 999.

For non-urgent concerns, you can:

●      Contact your local police by calling 101.

●      Visit the ACT Early website.

●      Seek advice from the NSPCC Helpline (0808 800 5002).

●      Speak to your child's teacher or safeguarding lead at school, college or university.

●      Speak to their GP, or other professionals involved in their care.

●      Contact Exit Hate for lived experience advice and support. Please visit our website - www.exithate.com

Mike - Volunteer

Exit Support Team