Protecting Other Children & Siblings

Having a child involved in extremism can cause many issues, and it is completely valid for one parent or their partner to have concerns if other children reside in the same residence or have regular contact with the child involved in extremism.

This situation is undoubtedly difficult for everyone involved.

We need to acknowledge how painful this can be, and we need to understand that these concerns are not voiced to cause division within the Family.

Nobody is saying one child is better than another, nor is anyone trying to push one child aside in any way.

But I believe it is important to think about it from each other’s point of view.

Put yourself in their situation; how do you think you would feel?

How would you react?

By doing this, it will offer you some understanding and allow you to put things into perspective.

It is important to be honest with each other. Communication and trust will be vital to keeping your family together and not allowing extremism to cause division.

Now let’s talk about some practical solutions that will not only protect other children from the effects of extremism, but that will also offer other parents the reassurance that they need.

1- One-on-one time between child and parent.

Whenever possible, try to spend one-on-one time with your child.

Not only will this build the bond between you and the child, but it will also offer all of you some much-needed relief from the tension and worry that you have about your child saying or doing anything of concern in front of others.

2 – Supervision.

I do believe it is important for your own peace of mind to supervise any interaction with your child and any other children within the home.

Particularly, keep an eye on anything they might be watching together and also any games that they might be playing together and pay particular attention to any gaming forums that they might be in.

3 - Social media.

When it comes to social media, if your children are friends over various platforms, keep an eye on what groups and friends they are adding.

Understandably, they will have the same friends, but look out for names you don’t recognise and from areas that are not familiar.

Research anything that may be of concern.

4 – Keep family time light.

We all know that time together is important; we also know it can be very stressful when you have a child involved in extremism. The constant worry of what they might say or if they will act up makes it difficult for everyone.

It's important to release some of the pressure that you all might be feeling. Forcing things won’t make it happen; in fact, it's likely to only make things worse.

Keep family time short and light, and slowly you can build from there.

Try planning activities that are not only fun for all of you, but something that will keep you all occupied; if minds are busy, there will be less chance of an outburst. These activities could include swimming, bowling, the cinema, going for a walk, etc.

5 – Talk to your child.

Sit your child down and make it clear to them that under no circumstances will you find it acceptable or allow hate speech or opinions in front of others within the house, especially children.

Allocate a set time of the day in which your child can discuss whatever they want with you and assure them that they can be open.

By doing this, two very important things will be achieved.

First, you will be protecting others in the home from the potential influence of extremism, and it will offer reassurance and relief to others in the home from those concerns.

Second, you will open that door of communication with your child, which then allows them to voice their opinions, concerns and thoughts with you in a safe environment and not in the Far-Right groups that will continue to use, breed and manipulate their feelings.

As difficult as it can be hearing what our children have to say, knowledge is power. You can use what your child has shared with you further down the line to challenge their opinions, which will help in the deradicalisation process.

As a parent who has gone through this process myself, I wholeheartedly understand the difficulties from all sides.

I know how I felt to have a child involved in extremism.

I understand the concerns that the mother of my partner's children had about allowing contact with them and my son.

I understand how difficult a situation they put my partner in.

Understanding, communication, and compassion can go a long way, and if you use these things, rather than allowing the Far-Right to divide your family, you will make it stronger.

Sarah - Exit Support Officer

Mom of a Former Far-Right Activist