Time To Get Support?

During my own son’s involvement, I knew something was very wrong.I just didn’t know what. 

Looking back the signs of radicalisation were there, but because some of them mimic other challenging behaviours that are often seen in teenagers and young adults, and due to my own lack of understanding of radicalisation and extremism. I overlooked the seriousness of the situation which only allowed my son to become further involved in extremist organisations.

I wrongly believed that it was a passing phase, and I made multiple excuses for his behaviour, not only to myself but to others as well.

As time progressed I started to lose control of everything around me.

My relationship with my son started to deteriorate, we were bickering and arguing all the time, my relationship with my partner became strained, it was difficult to concentrate at work. My life was falling apart,

Home which was once a place of hope,unity and love was no longer our safe place, instead it was a place full of tension, anger and fear. 

As time progressed and things got worse I felt the pressure of the burden of responsibility more than ever.

I wrongly believed that it was my failings as a parent as to why this was happening.

Was I not present enough?Did I fail him?Was I a bad Mother? I was full of shame and self doubt.

Those feelings left me with a need to try harder and prove myself by fixing whatever was going on.

Seeking support didn’t cross my mind,and in all honesty this is probably because I thought I was responsible.

The concept of seeking support would have only strengthened and validated my insecurities

I had something to prove and that was that I was a good and responsible parent.

The mind is a strange thing.

Looking back now, I am so angry at myself. 

I am angry that on multiple occasions my actions played into the hands of those that were damaging my son and my family and that I allowed them to use me as a pawn in their horrible games.

These extremist organisations that are manipulating and radicalising others have a perfected and well versed method  which is used to cause division so they have more control over the individual they are trying to radicalise.

They play on and use the emotions of the individual, loved ones and families.

Filling them with fear and self doubt.

They slowly and methodically chip away at your relationships, your self worth, your energy and your strength, leaving you powerless.

So if anyone reading this today is in a similar situation,

First I want you to know that this is not your fault, You are not the cause, nor is it because you have failed in any kind of way.

You don’t have to fix this alone either, in fact that could do more harm than good.

Support is available and with one simple call you can make a huge difference.

Not only to your loved ones life, but to yours and your families.

It really doesn’t have to be like this, and never forget the longer this continues, the worse things will get.

Love alone cannot fix this, but by loving someone enough to get them the help that they need, and by listening to specialists that are trained in that field, you can and you will get through this.

We did, and if I could change just one thing, I would have spoken to someone much sooner.

If you want help it is out there. 

You can talk to ACT Early 24 hours a day on their free telephone which is -

0800 011 3764

More details can be found here - https://actearly.uk

If you would like to talk to someone with lived experience, who knows first hand at what you are going through,or you want support,advice or just a chat,  then please reach out to Exit Hate Trust today.

You can contact us via email, over the phone, on facebook or Teams/Zoom once we’ve connected. You choose how you talk to us and everything is free. We do this because we care.

To get in touch with us, 

Email: info@exithate.org

Phone: 0800 999 1945

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ExitHateHub/

Sarah - Exit Hate Project Lead